Lick the Spoon

The Doctor- part one

2011-04-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

It was the summer of 2005. He looked like trouble but I wanted to meet him anyway. I wanted to seduce the seducer. I wanted to teach him a lesson maybe. He thought he was hot shit, that he could have any woman. I wanted to show him that he couldn’t have me. But first I had to make him want me. Not all that hard to do. He was receptive to women who were attractive and gave him attention. I fell for it a little, for his charm.

He said he wanted to know me, to be closer to me. One night I invited him over. It was late and I was lustful. He came hastily. He pulled up in a red sports car wearing jeans and flip-flops. It was a warm July night. He remembers the bike perched in the hallway of my tiny apartment I shared with a crazy Russian entrepreneur. He came over. We didn’t say much. He grabbed me and kissed me rolling onto the bed, tumbling over each other locked in a passionate embrace. Damn he was a good kisser and he tasted sweet. His body was lithely and brown and smooth. He must’ve taken his shirt off. I wondered aloud about the gold ring on a chain he wore eternally around his neck. It would take him five years to tell me that story.

His hands were everywhere and he grabbed for my wet pussy. I kept pulling his hands up, I knew I’d lose control if he started penetrating me. He pulled his cock out of his unbuttoned pants, he was on top of me, pushing up against me. I was hot and I wanted him but not like this. Not yet. I couldn’t give in so soon. He was overcome and would not be put off. I knew I had to make him cum, his desire to be inside me was relentless. To his surprise, I flipped him over tore off his pants and enthusiastically gave him one of the most satisfying blow-jobs he had ever had. I sucked him off completely and swallowed. He was exhausted and defeated. We lay in bed and he told me about sailing. He had lived in the Caribbean, he had sailed the open seas. It added to his mystique. He didn’t stay the night, I didn’t offer. I was interested in another guy, a sweet photographer who had unknowingly taken some shots of me at an Anti-War rally some months before. I asked my mother about these two potential suitors. She liked that the photographer. She thought the doctor looked arrogant. I knew he was.

I read a series of highly romantic messages posted to him online from an 18 year old girl in Santa Barbara. I knew he was going down there later that week. The messages they were exchanging weren’t just notes, they were lovers’ notes, it was obvious they were involved. Having recently been burned by a guy in a similar situation I wizened to the trap. I asked her about him and she claimed they were involved- shocked he might be dating someone else. He found out leaving me me a scathing message about not liking snoops and telling me goodbye. I thought I would never hear from him again. I was upset at having resorted to such juvenile means to find out the truth and being ridiculed for it even though he was the liar.
So, I began dating the photographer. The doctor contacted me eventually and we met up for coffee. I explained that I was already seeing someone, a nice guy who wanted a relationship. He said, “You’re a very smart girl.” If he was disappointed, he hid it well.

The months passed, the photographer and I moved in together. The doctor and I kept track of each other and every once in awhile he would send me a message asking if I still had a boyfriend. He was waiting. Boredom and sameness set in with my relationship and I began entertaining him with salty text messages.

Then I had the dream. It was so clear and definite. I dreampt about a little girl. She had beautiful bronzed skin like him. She loved the sun and the sea. I remember we were on a shining beach, we were a family and we were so happy. I had to see him after that dream. I came over and he was charming and attractive. He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me toward him but I denied him and laughed it off. As much as I liked him and still wanted him, I had to keep that promise to myself I wouldn’t cheat on a boyfriend again…

Two Tenets from a Third Wave Feminist

2010-12-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

I'm a feminist. But probably not the kind you think of or the kind Ann Coulter loves to mock.

My view of feminism is simple and contains two tenets.

1. Women should hold all the rights and privileges men do in every society. (No big shocker here)

2. Women should be in control of their own destiny. This means, their body, their property, their relationships and their vocation.

An important new distinction between second and third wave feminism is the privy given to individual choice. A woman can choose to be anything from a housewife to a porn star and as long as it's not a choice made of coercion or manipulation that choice should be accepted and unhindered.

He looked like trouble

2010-06-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

You. I want to meet You.

That was the first thing he ever said to her.

Maybe he liked the way she looked.

She looked good.

He looked like trouble.

My Dear List

2009-12-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

Dear holiday season sales,

It would be really great if you would stop having great deals on cute boots, jackets and scarves! You're basically forcing me into debt and buyers remorse. thanks, me

Dear facebook,

Stop being so goddamn addicting! My life has become a wasteland of bad wedding photos, snarky comments and personality surveys. thanks, me

Dear twilight,

I never meant all those horrible things I said about you. I was a coward and broke under pressure. Please take me back! love, me

Dear friends from out of town,

i love you but i don't think i can aimlessly wander through fisherman's wharf one more time! thanks, me

5

2009-11-19T18:25:00.001-08:00

Sunny + Cold

4

2009-11-18T22:27:00.001-08:00

11/18/09

Whirling Dervish

3

2009-11-16T18:27:00.001-08:00

Sunday in Emeryville

11/15/09

2

2009-11-14T01:07:00.000-08:00

The requisite mirror/bathroom shot.

1:09am Saturday November 14th, 2009

1

2009-11-13T13:42:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th of November

The morning light was bright today.

body as canvas

2009-10-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

partially smudged but still awesome vine painting on my arm

genevieve brought her face paints to the expressive arts party on friday

my only instructions were "something pretty, maybe a vine" and i let her use her aesthetic interpretation

Forest green

2009-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Return of the Cheese!

2009-10-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

Due to popular request I've decided to resurrect the Cheese Blog. Hurrah!

I found my latest decadence in the new Whole Foods Market on 24th Street in Noe Valley.

I nearly had to knock a four year old boy over to grab a sampled bit of Marieke Gouda with Foenegreek Seeds this afternoon. Thankfully his mother was right behind to

intervene before things got ugly. I only intended to eat the sample but once this nutty cheese hit my palette I made an about-face and dutifully purchased a block, hesitation nil.

Let's start with the name. Marieke Gouda is from Holland Family Farms in Wisconsin and made from cow's milk. Ok, and you're wondering what the hell are Foenegreek Seeds and how do you pronounce that?? Apparently, the maple like Foenegreek seeds are native to Holland and they are an ancient cure-all for ailments. Sweet, spongy, yummy, this cheese won 2nd place in the World Cheese Championship (2008). I do pick winners!

This delicate spongy cheese is paired nicely with salty crackers and/o

r a red wine varietal. I recommend Milton's Everything Multi-Grain Crackers and Le Cigare Volant respectively. Pace yourself though, it's easy to overdo it with this one.

Cheese: Marieke Gouda with Foenegreek Seeds

Price: $12.99/lb

Country: USA

Taste: Delicate, nutty, salty-sweet

Death Comes to Violet

2009-06-11T22:18:00.000-07:00

Today I watched Violet, my ever faithful 1GB jump drive, disintegrate before my very eyes.

First bits of plastic shards...then the exterior casing fell off and now it seems as even the mini motherboard is hanging on by a mere thread.

Lots of very important things are saved on this jump drive. I'm such a wandering spirit, portable digital storage is like lifeblood.

I'm very sad to say goodbye to my first and most cherished.

Cloud Cover

2009-06-05T16:47:00.000-07:00

Nights in Roma

2009-06-04T21:05:00.001-07:00

Delicata

2009-05-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

I know what this is now, she pronounced to him one late evening.

I've figured it out. It's a romance.

Aquamarine

2009-05-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

She bought a sun dress, it was the color of the sea, summer didn't seem so far away then.

Cupcake Wednesday

2009-05-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

Something cute and sweet for the belly.

Not from a box.

Strawberry Lemon Cupcakes

Basic Lemon Cake Batter

(this is for a layer cake, I halved it to make 12 cupcakes)

2 cups sugar

1 cup butter, softened

3 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp lemon extract

3 cups cake flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup buttermilk

Preheat oven to 350.

Beat sugar and butter at medium speed with a heavy-duty electric stand mixer until creamy and fluffy, about 5 minutes.

Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating until yellow disappears after each addition. Beat in vanilla and almond extracts.

Whisk together flour, baking powder and salt in a small bowl; add to sugar mixture alternately with buttermilk, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Beat a medium-low speed just until blended after each addition. (batter will be thick)

For two 9 inch pans, cook for 32-36 minutes.

Strawberry Vanilla Buttercream

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/8 tsp salt

1 (16 oz) package powdered sugar

1/2 cup of fresh strawberries, chopped

Beat first 3 ingredients at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add powdered sugar alternately with strawberries, beating at low speed until blended and smooth.

Rumi Poetry

2009-04-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

Poems I found today in my wanderings

A thousand half loves must be forsaken

to take one whole heart home

Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent minded.

Someone sober will worry about things going badly

Let the lover be

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere

They're in each other all along

------------------

People want you to be happy

Don't keep serving them your pain

If you could untie your wings

and free your soul of jealousy

you and everyone around you

would fly up like doves

-----------------

Speak quietly

and say nothing that is not true

Things not found in Oregon

2009-04-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

Lemon Trees

Clock Tower at UC Berkeley

Cute Shoes from H&M

southeast 28th

2009-03-27T20:01:00.001-07:00

in the pink

2009-03-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

Life Path Exploration

2009-03-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

All roads lead to the same point.
All paths are true.

Broke and Interesting

2009-03-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

So you're broke and living in Portland. That doesn't mean you have to stay home, eating Ramen noodles and watching daytime tele. I'm compiling a list of fun and interesting things to do for less than 7 bucks.

Kennedy School Soaking Pool- Daily 10am-10pm $5.00
Dodgeball at the Friendly House- Fridays 7pm-9pm $2.00
Yoga classes at People's Yoga- Daily $6.00 drop in rate
MAX ride to IKEA for dinner- Daily 10am-9pm $2.00 MAX ticket+ $5.00 meal
Learn ancient chinese game of GO at Powells- Tuesday nights FREE
See an indie flick at Living Room Theatres- Monday & Tuesday All Shows $5.00
Throw your own Game Night- Any evening $7.00 for snacks, BYOB
Throw your own Themed Movie Marathon- Friday or Saturday $7.00 for rentals

Know of other rad stuff for under $7.00? Add to my list!!

Meet SEXTREME!!!

2009-03-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

A sample of cover shots for our debut album!

manchego

2009-03-02T22:55:00.001-08:00

Cheese: Manchego (Sheep's Milk) Aged 4 months
Origin: La Mancha, Spain
Price: $16.99/ lb

Adrift in the fancy cheese aisle of New Seasons, a young tattooed grocery clerk caught my eye and smiled inquisitively. He must've recognized my hapless expression because he immediately offered his services in cheese identification. Upon further inquisition, I mentioned I had started a cheese blog and was reviewing different cheeses each week. He laughed and asked if I had tried cheese from sheep's milk. He said that it was his favorite. "If you're going to start trying sheep's milk, you have to start with Manchego," he said with confidence.

Manchego is a semi firm cheese made from the milk of Manchego Sheep in the La Mancha region of central Spain (of Don Quixote fame). It's cave aged from 3 to 6 months which determines the robustness of the flavor.

As my new friend Charles was giving me a quick overview of spanish cheeses, another grocery clerk became interested in our jovial discussion. "You have to eat it with quince, it's how the Spanish do it," he interjected. Quince I learned, is a pear like fruit of Asian origin which has a figgy sweetness when made into a paste. "What do you eat Manchego with?" I coyly asked, directing attention back to Charles. "Crackers, bread...?" I trailed off. "Wheat Thins," he quietly admitted. "Wheat Thins? Really?!" I laughed. "My friends make fun of me because of my somewhat white trashy background but I like em," he explained further. "Well, that wouldn't be my first choice but I"ll try anything!" I encouraged. In the end, I purchased both the Quince paste and the Wheat Thins. This is the post modern era after all, the exquisite and the banal can make a happy couple.

Fake Band Covers

2009-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

sunshine

2009-02-28T14:23:00.001-08:00

His middle name is Star.

the best thing

2009-02-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

the best thing to do during a recession is look really fucking good!

sacre

2009-02-23T11:58:00.000-08:00

"Man shall not be free until the last king is strangled by the entrails of the last priest."
- Denis Diderot

scribbles

2009-02-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

a drowsey tuesday. notes on lined paper. strangers who look familiar. coffee and silent conversation.

if i can dance between raindrops

2009-02-17T11:04:00.000-08:00

belang III

2009-02-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

belang means 'more than two colors' in Indonesian.

valentine

2009-02-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

i love u, lets do it.

2009-02-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

we met an ex-pat biker named leo in sonoyta, mexico.
an american flag wrapped round' his neck
he said he was just as lost as we were. he was lying.
he had the flavor of an outlaw. we didn't ask.
we followed him for awhile down the long empty desert highway.
sun on his back, wind in his face, a lone shadow
we decided he was living the dream,
and katherine fell a little bit in love.

blueblur

2009-02-12T15:19:00.001-08:00

blueismynewfavoritecolor.